Airport Hostility

Yesterday, I flew from Dallas, TX, to Nashville, TN. On the plane, I wrote in my notebook about "airport hostility": "Everyone is ready to fight at any moment; you can feel it in the air, though it's hidden well." 


That statement may sound a bit dramatic, but has anyone else noticed that people seem especially irritable on airplanes? This lady sitting next to me was saving a seat for her husband who was a few people behind her in line. Another woman approached and pointed to the empty seat, starting to make her way to it. When the lady next to me explained that it was taken, the other woman took it quite personally. She huffed and rolled her eyes before she continued down the aisle to find a seat. Awkward.


Then, I'm sitting on the plane, buckled up for a two-hour ride, kind of looking around at the other people on the plane. I notice that no one is talking to each other. Everyone has their iPods, laptops, books, drinks, food, whatever, or they're sleeping. I suddenly wonder: why can't we all start singing songs or telling stories? I mean, with a couple hundred people on this plane, surely someone has a good joke to tell, right?
Just then, the lady next to me starts throwing up. I'm serious. The lady that was saving a seat for her husband? Well, now she's vomiting—violently—into one of those tiny barf bags they give you on an airplane. I realize at this moment that those little bags cannot actually hold much liquid. So, I scramble to find mine in the back pocket of the seat in front of me, and I hold it out to her as an offer. I then realize that her husband on the other side is doing the same. We look at each other, the husband and me, with matching cringes that seem to say, "Yeah...this sucks." Of course, she's embarrassed to be throwing up on a plane, so no one's really winning at this point. Oh, and naturally, there's no flight attendant to be seen. Eventually, the lady stops vomiting (thank God). Her husband digs a napkin out of her purse and helps her clean up. Now, this is one of the sweetest things I've ever seen: a husband wiping vomit off his wife's jacket sleeve, telling her everything is okay. She is clearly devastated. She doesn't dare to make eye contact with anyone until everything is cleaned up, but finally she turns to me and says, "I'm so sorry." I just smile at her. "It's all good."


I guess I got what I wanted after all: something to unite people on an airplane. I was hoping for a story or a song. Instead I got vomit. But hey, that's life.